In 2008 I plan to do the following:

*Note: Some are already complete, so I crossed them off.

Change the look of this blog
Get my credit score above 400
Download pirated vocabulary boosting audio programs
Complete work on my time machine
Settle a score with the Triads
Stop coaxing people into buying Macs (Now shipping with Leopard!)
Drink more fruit smoothies
Learn the name and ticker symbol of every S&P 500 stock
Buy shoes and pants when I need them
Listen to more MF DOOM
Upgrade to WordPress 2.3
Resist the urge to make fun of old people

As with most New Year’s resolutions, most of these won’t last more than a week. At least I can say I actually thought about it. And documented it.

Happy New Year!

This is me. Jumping. Out of planes. With assistance. In Adidas Stan Smith shoes.

This video documents my second and third free-fall jumps ever. You don’t want to see my first. It will probably scare the pants off you. I know I don’t want to see it.

At the beginning of this video clip you see me sticking one thumb up. That’s secret skydiving code called the “thumbs up,” and it means “I’m ready, let’s go ahead and jump out of the airplane now.”

Then it’s one two, three. We jump on three.

You’ll see the guys, my coaches, giving me all kinds of signs as we fall through the air toward the earth’s surface. These are supposed to help me change my position in the free-fall, but in practice they really just served to scare the hell out of me.

As the video ends, you can see us falling into a large storm. I hung around in my open chute in that storm for around 20 minutes, going from 5,500 feet up to 6,100 before finally clearing the storm and landing in a corn field miles from the drop zone. I survived. I called my wife and told her what happened. I told her I wanted to quit jumping. She told me to get back up there, warning that if I didn’t I would feel like a chump for a long time.

I did get back up there and I jumped more. I survived all those other jumps as well.

The song in the video is Offspring’s “Defy You,” used–quite appropriately, I think–without permission from the band or anyone else.

I got free-fall certified through DarkSide Parachuting in Thiene, Italy. Those guys, Scott and Jeff, are awesome. They never let me die once.

I eventually got better at it than this. A little bit, at least.

Somebody, anybody, PLEASE buy me a Ghostface doll.

It’s the only thing I want this Christmas. I changed my mind about the hats and books and whatever else I said I wanted.

Alls I want is just this one doll, and it’s on sale from $500 to $300.

Happy holidays.